gonna go to robin gibb's concert later.. haven got an idea on what i should wear.. hmmm..-----many things haf crop up.. exams are here and i'm supposed to be concentrating.. but but.. having to meet that minimin grade isnt that easy when everyone around you seem to be smarter.. the pressure is on not only to hit the minimin grade but the distinction part also.. why did i get myself into such a thing.. it no doubt lightens the burden on my parents and i get allowance but but.. the academic aspect seem so.. i cant stop what i'm doing for a reason.. maybe i cant let go.. but i cant stop.. the pressure i put on myself.. the pressure from my parents.. though they dun say they haf expectations for me, i know they still expect something from me.. then there's the expectations of teachers.. in this tiertiary education we thought teachers would notice us less as the student population is so large.. well think again.. there seems to be a system where the teacher can get to know each and everyone of us.. they can tell who can perform, who needs help.. so it's scary.. ----- got mistaken for something i said.. didnt meant for it to happen.. but it happened.. hopefully after the exams i can get it sort of sorted out.. if not there goes my proj.. when ppl gets the wrong impression of u.. it sucks.. especially it involves something big.. -----holidays are coming.. it's cool cox everyone else is having school.. haha.. probably the first time i'll like my holidays.. when it would really look like a holiday.. if nothing goes wrong.. will be out of the country a couple of days in oct.. hoping.. wishing.. oh ya.. saw the papers.. the new harry potter movie will be out on 17 nov.. hehe..
melie
5:09 pm
..turtles and me..-----was reading a friend's blog.. saw this part that well.. i felt was quite meaning.. "Like the little turtle in the story, some of us waste our time waiting for people to live up to our expectations. We are so concerned about what others are doing that we don't do anything ourselves. We're worried that other people are going to let us down, so we live in fear and suspicion. We often think the worst of others, not realising that it's our very lack of faith that leads to the result we dreaded. The family of turtles would have waited for the little turtle to return. In fact, they did; seven years they waited. Eventually the oldest turtle was forced to stop waiting because of the little turtle's mistrust. In the same way, we often bring out the worst in other people because we expected nothing better from them. ".. is this true.. i guess so in some way.. been staring at the post.. thinking of what comment i could add.. but seriously.. no words flow to mind.. it's for u guys to think about it.. ya..
melie
5:08 pm
~what do they actually know~-----..been wondering what do they actually know .. here they are commenting on things they dont really know.. things they dont see us doing.. things they are not sure on what are really happens behind the scenes.. so what should the appoarch be in doing all these?... tell them the whole lot of stuff we are doing.. tell them the whole lot of problems that we are facing.. what for? will they even bother to listen... will they bother to care.. they'll probably mock and laugh at us for getting ourselves into this whole mess.. we should have just left them alone.. but seriously thinking.. if it wasnt for us.. how can it all go on?.. but many think otherwise.. everywhere everything is run differently.. how can we compare.. is it fair.. to us to others.. who really bothers to come back after everything they we had done is actually much completed.. all ties could have been broken with the day we ended in that place.. but we chose not to.. hoping to see what we had grown up with to be better.. when what we had done have gone unappreciated.. we really question ourselves why we bother staying or doing.. we have been viewed as stupid or crazy to have stayed for so long.. pass it on to someone else.. but who is that someone else that we can pass on to.. who is that someone who wants to do it.. who is that someone we can trust?.. who?.. if only it is known.. then maybe.. just maybe.. this sort of things would not have happen.. but time cannot be turned back can it?.. what is done is done.. so much that you want to change the impressions of others on you.. that mistake you once made can never seem to be washed away..it stays with you forever.. just like being convicted.. that record stays with you forever.. people view you as a different person.. in a different light.. maybe we shouldnt care what other thinks.. it's not that easy.. not that simple.. i really want to be real bad.. and just do the opposite of whatever they hope we'll do.. just get back at them.. just to make me feel better.. haha.. sounds fun..maybe i'll do just that when the time comes.. dont really care whether i'll look bad or good anymore.. cause in the end we'll all get associated to be bad i guess.. so since we are bad.. just continue to be or what's better.. get more people to join.. haha.. think i'm going crazy..
melie
10:10 am
..URBAN RACE..-----..well.. it's over.. at least for now.. 1 project down.. so think can concentrate on my studies as of now.. haha.. went to hq at 0730 today.. thanks to my dad.. hehe.. i could wake up half an hr later.. hehe.. got a ride there.. so didnt have to worry of getting there late.. was the first to reach.. then minli came along so we started arranging the chairs and stuff in the mph.. then played music to entertain ourselves and decided to run through the prog.. while some of the teams were late cox they followed the old circular timings and stuff.. so had to push back the schedule.. hehe.. in the end our unit got 2nd.. while the other school got first and third.. oh well.. hope they had fun.. now stuck here waiting for hf to come so that we can go for dinner.. where is she anyway.. sian.. hope she comes quickly.. if not stuck here and boss is falling asleep which is not good.. sian.. ok.. got nothing else to say le.. ha..
melie
6:01 pm
oBs+3R ! aM..-----beggining to look like a lobster.. haha.. was at the beach todae.. suppose to kayak.. but thought since i got well.. maybe i should just stay on shore.. well did just that.. was wondering along the whole stretch of beach.. walking to and fro.. well.. on a few incidents.. saw things that i shouldnt have seen.. not that i did it on purpose.. but it just happen to meet my eyes.. ok.. the first incident happen cox my frenz stopped me from walking when they were kayaking.. then they started the game of pictionary in the sea and i had to decipher what they are trying to tell me.. at first i thought they meant to look at the board behind me.. but in the end they were asking me to look at the tent next to me.. ok to my horror i saw stuff i shouldnt have seen cox the door was open.. oh well.. they didnt expect anyone to be walking along that stretch of beach cox that part was like barricaded but i walked from another place so i happen to be within that barricade.. haha.. ok they were quite shock to see me .. so was i to see them.. cox hf they all were pretty obvious.. the guy notice n turn to look at me.. but i pretended i was staring at the sand.. haha.. but guess what.. i doubt they were the only ones doing it.. saw another tent later was wondering who in the right mind would seal up the tent in the middle of the afternoon.. until i realise throught the transparent material of the tent that there were people inside.. ok i think it's 2.. but yah.. kind of disgusted.. ha.. well got rather burnt today from standing and sitting in the sun though i could well choose a rather shady spot for my classmates to kayak back but felt like getting a tan.. haha.. but got more than just a tan.. the process of getting a tan became a burnt instead.. and now my arms and thighs hurt.. and they are PINK.. ok cant be compared to wan ting.. she looks worse.. haha.. think i'll start pealing soon.. sian... at the beach.. cox i was alone and stuff.. the only thing i could do was stare into the sea.. which i did and i think this guy thought i was going to commit suicide so he came to talk to me.. haha.. almost asked him whether he thought i was going to jump.. haha.. but i manage to convince him that i was fine and just waiting for my friends.. haha.. but that made me felt that maybe there are people on earth who actually notices the surroundings and aint afraid to come forward to lend a helping hand.. ok.. had ice cream at swensens after that.. got offer people.. 4 bucks for a sundae!!! go grab them but only available on weekdays i think.. hehe...
melie
10:38 pm
SONGS..
-----isnt it quite cool.. ok maybe cool isnt the word.. but to be able to find a song that describes how u actually feel at that point in time when all other words seem to fail to describe sufficiently that feeling inside u.. the feeling is there but those feelings seem to be impossible to be phrased into words.. have been listening to james blunt's songs recently.. cause my bro got the album.. haven gotten sick of the songs yet though i have listened to them many many times.. there's something about the songs, melodies, lyrics, voice of the singer.. that makes the songs a pleasure to listen.. certain words in certain songs actually tell the life i am living now.. where are those happy songs that i can relate to?
melie
3:11 pm
TEARS AND RAIN by JAMES BLUNT-----How I wish I could surrender my soul;Shed the clothes that become my skin;See the liar that burns within my needing.How I wish I'd chosen darkness from the cold.How I wish I had screamed out loud,Instead I've found no meaning.-----I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.Hides my true shape, like Dorain GrayI've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.-----How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;Hold memory close at hand,Help me understand the years.How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.How I wish I would save my soul.I'm so cold from fear.-----I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.Hides my true shape, like Dorain Gray.I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.Far, far away; find comfort in pain.All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.
melie
2:42 pm
HIGH by JAMES BLUNT------Beautiful dawn - lights up the shore for me.There is nothing else in the world,I'd rather wake up and see (with you).Beautiful dawn - I'm just chasing time again.Thought I would die a lonely man, in endless night.But now I'm high; running wild among all the stars above.Sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me. ------Beautiful dawn - melt with the stars again.Do you remember the day when my journey began?Will you remember the end (of time)?Beautiful time - You're just blowing my mind again.Thought I was born to endless night, until you shine.High; running wild among all the stars above.Sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me.-----Will you be my shoulder when I'm grey and older?Promise me tomorrow starts with you,Getting high; running wild among all the stars above.Sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me.
melie
12:41 pm
has never long to leave this land
as badly as ever
we they she he i
longing to haf
that special thing call that
always ask when will i
get it.. when
been waiting
........
a
part of hopes to leave now
a
part never wanna runaway
melie
11:40 am
