this stupid thing is getting me irritated.. the icons are not in the proper place they are suppose to be.. irritating.. was actually happy when i wanted to blog.. this thing spoilt it all.. haha.. went to enviroment building today to help facilitate some course for principals from pre schools.. haha.. played games with principals.. so funny lor.. but some very enthusiastic.. a group of us approach by the nea person to see if we interested to join some envoys thingy.. haha.. sounds interesting.. but the commitments.. i dunno if i can afford.. yeah.. will think about it..
melie
8:50 pm
i was made to realise that not everyone can get what they want.. can get what they hope for.. some continue to hold on to that hope.. believing that it will come true one day.. true enough.. it happens sometimes.. but sadly.. many do not.. but we cant stop someone from holding on to that hope.. it's probably the thing that is making them live.. making them look forward to each day.. to see their smile.. see their laughter.. they cry when they cry.. they laugh when they laugh.. but no one knows.. it's all done quietly.. behind the scenes.. they are contented enough to just be there when they need them.. they support whatever decisions they make.. they laugh at every joke they say.. they try to cheer them up when they are down.. but when they choose someone else.. no matter how much their heart hurts, they still smile in front of them.. but deep inside, they are torn apart.. but it doesnt matter.. does it.. as long as they are happy.. it's what matters the most.. to be just able to catch a glimpse of them is good enough.. a smile or word from them would make their day.. some move on with life.. some continue to stand by those they love.. it takes courage.. i have to say.. cause it's never easy to let go.. i've been through it before.. we all end up choosing different paths.. cause we are different.. i can never say whether the path i took was right or wrong.. cause there is no right or wrong in life.. every step just brings us to another future.. i've learnt that it doesnt matter which path we take.. as long as we are happy with our decision.. we should not be sad with our choosen path.. if we are then it's time to make a change..
~i was born to make you happy~
melie
12:02 pm
has it ever occur to you that i get hurt by what you say too.. it's not the first time also.. everyone sees it differently.. i'm trying very hard to understand it also.. trying to lighten the atmosphere also wrong.. i guess watever i say or do will also be wrong in ur eyes then.. all it takes is just one phrase.. i guess i'm always wrong.. maybe i should take up some mind reading course.. or maybe screen reading.. maybe all the computer code can tell me something..
melie
11:54 am
WAKE ME UP WHEN SEPTEMBER ENDSby GREEN DAY-----Summer has come and passedThe innocent can never last Wake me up when september endsLike my father's come to passSeven years has gone so fastWake me up when september endsHere comes the rain again Falling from the starsDrenched in my pain againBecoming who we areAs my memory restsBut never forgets what i lost Wake me up when september endsSummer has come and passedThe innocent can never lastWake me up when september endsRing out the bells againLike we did when spring beganWake me up when september endsHere comes the rain againFalling from the starsDrenched in my pain againBecoming who we areAs my memory restsBut never forgets what i lostWake me up when september endsSummer has come and passedThe innocent can never lastWake me up when september endsLike my father's come to passTwenty years has gone so fastWake me up when september ends-----
melie
9:35 am
Hate the times when there's jux me
Hate the times when my mind starts wandering
Hate the times when i think about things that makes me sad
It's getting worse
As time slips away
Sorrow is piling up
Pressing on my tears
Forcing them to come out very more often
Forcing them to leave the comfort
Of my eyes
I wouldnt mind if i'm alone at home
But i'm never alone
Without my family
There's still friends
If not there'll be strangers
I dont want to seem like a freak
Crying in the middle of the road and to nothing
Hate to talk about this
Hate to whisper a word about this
Cause it's difficult
Cause it just makes me sadder
Havent i felt enough
Yes Yes i have
I really letting things that i cant hold on
Anymore.. to go..
Holding on adds to the sadness
Adds to the pressure
It's not just one
There's many
Want me to explain
I'm sorry i cant
It'll just leave me in silence
Dont force me too
I dont want to relive that sadness
When i dont have too
Please
melie
9:19 am
when will that sadness leave
when will that tear become real
when will a tear become more than just one
confused sad scare uncertain
-----
finding the right song to go with that feeling inside
not that i'm alone
but.. there's always the but
cant make myself rely on too much
if not having to be alone would be difficult
-----
so much for the word trust
haven one been hurt enough
to give it all again
it's difficult.. very
afraid to have to feel that feeling again
i dont
i really dont
-----
i'm trying
just for one purpose
life is all about a gamble
u win sometimes
but lose most of the times
but there's always hope
hope..
melie
1:15 pm
chalet..-----was back on wed from my class chalet..many things seemed to have taken place during that short period of a few days.. thought the chalet would provide a form of escapism.. but then it wasnt.. how come we are so small... shocking news took place really left my friend n i speechless.. never saw it coming.. thought i could really just think of the chalet and nothing else.. but well my life didnt allow it.. too bad.. -----went to pulau ubin on tues.. it was part of the class outing when we went to chalet.. since we were in that part of singapore.. haha.. cycle to one of the quarries.. haha.. my friend n i went off first.. reach there ahead of the rest of the pack.. haha..hf became the 'pig' of the class cause she fell into a puddle as the road was uneven and she lost her balance..so sad for her as the tshirt got splatter with mud.. haha.. as we were all leaving the quarry.. the unexpected happen.. a friend of mine lost balance on her bike n fell onto the bicycles parked near her.. we thought it was just a normal fall.. but the fall cause the gears to be poked into her shin.. in all she had 12 pokes in her shin.. worst thing was.. her blood seem to have some problem clotting.. the blood keeps dripping.. we didnt dare apply pressure as the wound was covered with bicycle oil.. but luckily those wounds werent too big to cause blood to flow profusely..haha.. think wt is just so unlucky.. hf, she can join the accident prone club le.. we got new member.. haha.. a month back when we went kayaking, wt somehow got a bruise in her ankle area.. it was huge lor.. now those pokes.. all on the same leg... haha.. to her, bruise + mozzies bite + 12 pokes = rotten leg.. not so bad la... well i was the one trying to push her on back to the jetty.. if not we'll just die walking.. coconut work wonders.. haha.. so motivated to move on, we didnt stop for a break.. haha... but seriously.. i think i lack exercise.. luckily i didnt get muscle aches.. muahaha..-----got a call on tues nite to go back to school for a briefing.. so sian diao.. haha.. wt n i went after we went to get our earrings supplies.. haha.. spend 66 plus bucks that day.. going broke.. if my mom finds out.. there goes my head.. haha.. well after i got home on wed.. i went to sleep at 7 plus.. slept through to the next day.. haha..
melie
10:48 am
updating..
-----
going to chalet till wed.. yippee.. holiday fun fun fun.. but i'm sick.. but who cares.. i been eating like i used to.. all the fried n spicy stuff.. wat would i do without them.. haha.. oh ya.. jux got back from class gathering.. we went kbox.. haha. my first time can u believe it.. haha.. like so stupid like that.. never go to such places before.. but my friends seldom sing one leh.. or we are all broke at the same time.. hahaha.. guess there will be more of this kind of activities coming.. rite kor.. haha..
melie
5:58 pm
something for u to think about-----i got the following through mail from a friend of mine.. it got me thinking.. think i gonna share it with you people out there...----- **There are times in life...
When the person u will love,
For the rest of your life, walks into your life.
Sometimes, just sometimes You hurt the person,
You push them away. Not meaning to, but you do.
At times...you are afraid that the person,
Will just walk away, Leaving you, alone...and ...lost.**-----do you feel that way too?
melie
9:25 pm
ARROW PATROL U ROCK.......just got back from my unit leader training basic course... well it was much of an enjoyment i can say..the people in my patrol rocks...i think they were the ones that made the camp really memorable.. all the times we had together will really add to my collection of wonderful memories i had since the day i joined scouting.. campcraft session was really c00l.. we made a mini suspending flag pole.. but we didnt have a flag so we made (well i made) a flag thingy out of a styrofoam plate.. so we call it a plate pole.. haha.. pp for short.. then there was the backwoodsman cooking that really got us together i think.. it started raining heavily but our whole patrol stayed together.. in the rain.. trying to get something c00king in the fire.. seeing everyone together was really something that i could vividly remember.. even up till the time the trainers told us to get shelter.. we were actually quite reluctant to leave.. haha.. we had to be chase to the shelter.. haha.. even if we didnt get anything cooked.. i hope the other patrol members learnt something.. then there was the last night where we had to share our thoughts about the camp.. it was then that i think everyone got to know everyone better.. we all have thoughts about going to advance course together.. but can we request to be in the same patrol again?.. it was fun working together.. the laughter the joy.. wish for the next time to come soon.. yeah.. soon...thanks peeps.. it was fun knowing all of you.. hope to see you soon..
melie
8:55 pm
been looking forward to the camp dis weekend.. i'll finally be a camper again.. haha.. but then... been getting frustrated easily these few days.. which means it's not good.. haha.. those ppl in camp will die.. haha.. -----made my first pair of earrings yesterday.. hehe.. cool funky ones.. haha.. to me that is... hahaha.. got more materials today with wt.. found a few shops we could go to.. hehe.. so that means i spend more money.. sian.. maybe it's retribution.. for not spending much during my study and exam period.. muahahaha...-----will be back next mon.. see u guys then.. away from the concrete jungle.. to probably what seem the closer to a real jungle i could get.. hehe..-----oh well gal.. do take care.. there's always the ups and downs in life.. glad u manage to finally see her...
melie
4:59 pm
