i call this whole blogging thing something i haven done for quite some time.. life has been hectic.. more of i cannot seem to control my time or work.. everything always go out of hand the beginning of the week.. we enter war zone every monday.. never knowing what to expect the rest of the week..
time table changes like the stock market in wall street.. everyday ends at 5.. if not early abit.. but that's not the end of the day.. then it'll be a mad rush for the library.. search through piles of books n endless shelf for that right information or article.. then it'll be the photocopying, referencing of all the stuff we need.. all these is not the end of it all.. u haf group mates to discuss the presentation, project, problem based learning.. or whatever u call it .. then it'll be a whole lot of discussing.. if things goes well, the discussion will be smooth n stuff can be done in an hr.. but if not.. heh.. it'll be hours in the lib discussing n searching.. the number of times i enter the lib this term for 5 weeks is equivalent if not more than the number of times i went to the lib in my last semester.. ha.. that's how much school load has changed.. who says poly life is slack.. that was in my first semester.. but judging from things now.. it's not gonna be like how others pictured it..
though in a few weeks time school holidays are finally arriving.. the second last of school holidays i will ever get in 3 yrs.. the tests are all approaching.. luckily it's one per week.. but there's no time for studying.. k.. not really i'm like sacrificing my time to study to type this but studying is not in the mood yet.. realise a whole lot of meetings n after school stuff to do next week.. n i got anatomy prac on thurs.. gosh.. i gotta get an A for this.. if not i'll be chased again by teachers.. n maybe i'll get a pep talk from my mentor again.. it's not bad though.. only that everytime she does that, i get stressed up.. n depression sinks in.. ha.. 4 weeks more to holidays.. let's start the counting down..
looking forward to holidays.. there'll be a long family chalet to look forward to.. christmas to celebrate.. woohoo.. the season to send cards again.. heh..
just praying the depression doesnt sink in again.. dun wan to feel sad.. not now.. not in this period of time.. everytime she walks in the dark, she fails to see the light.. when time allows her to see the light, the tunnel appears right before her very eyes.. enphasizing the fact that it's coming back again.. the tunnel then turns to become a hole that she struggles to get out.. jumping doesnt help.. yelling doesnt either.. somehow.. she feels that she's in a vacuum, in a place where nothing can be heard.. cries, shouts, laughter are just silent.. she can disappear into thin air if she wants to.. she can just hide into a corner and observe the world go by.. n maybe.. no one will even notice.. they'll leave her as she is.. believing that she wants to be alone.. thinking that she's some weirdo and they should avoid her n let her just be the way she wants to.. but deep inside her, she yearns for attention.. she yearns for someone to reach out to her.. just a hand would probably comfort her no matter what.. who is she anyway.. i dun even noe her anymore..
melie
12:02 pm
wow wow.. it has been ages since i log in.. haha.. been really busy.. lots of stuff have been popping up.. everyday.. life became a routine since school started again after 2 months long of holidays.. cox now i got such a rigid time table that i wake up the same time everyday and suppose to end the same time everyday.. so everyday is just leave the house the same time do the same thing.. then when i come home.. it's just too exhaustive to want to do anything.. avoided the computer and internet for one whole weekend.. didnt want to come back to reality to do things as i should.. avoiding checking mails so that i can pretend that i didnt know.. but after 4 days i knew i had to come back down to earth and settle the things.. the only thing i remembered when i opened my email account was that my jaw dropped.. there was like 29 mails in the inbox.. ha.. and all from the same category.. having to read through those mails were like tortue.. at first it was still ok but after 10 u begin to skim through the mail.. basically my mind wasnt registering anything i was reading.. i just deleted those i didnt need.. haha..it crossed my mind to add in something to this blog of mine.. but didnt felt like it and was getting fed up of facing the computer for so long.. 2 public holidays this week.. suppose to have studied some of my modules.. but ended up going out with my family most of the time.. haha.. where's the discipline girl!!!.. haix..
melie
5:50 pm
