everything so explicitlynothing can be vagueif not u voice ur viewsand i get the blame
what's wrong with letting u guesswhat's wrong with making u thinkdoes it always have to be thrown onto the table for u to see
i keep guessingu keep quieti get correctedbut never knew what's right
how to live longerin a situation like thishow to see the light shinefor a glimpse of hope
is love a guessing gameor one that brings more enlightment is love something confusingor one that is clear
i have no idea
melie
6:22 pm
勇氣 by 梁靜茹終於作了這個決定 別人怎麼說我不理 只要你也一樣的肯定 我願意天涯海角都隨你去 我知道一切不容易 我的心一直溫習說服自己 最怕你忽然說要放棄
愛真的需要勇氣 來面對流言蜚語 只要你一個眼神肯定 我的愛就有意義 我們都需要勇氣 去相信會在一起 人潮擁擠我能感覺你 放在我手心裡 你的真心
如果我的堅強任性 會不小心傷害了你 你能不能溫柔提醒 我雖然心太急 更害怕錯過你
melie
6:13 pm
my heart has numb
yet another time
u say it's me
i never deny
but is it ever you
have lost track on wad i wanted
is it too much to ask for
i really dont know
and u cant even answer
what u really want
have stopped at the junction once again
not sure what direction i should choose
take the one that i'll probably smile again
or take the one that i never stop crying
take the one that is more comforting
or take the one with lots of risk
take the one i believe in
or take the one that i should trust in
take the one that i can see my future in
or take the one that i have no fate in
i thought i made the right choice
chose the path i am more than glad to take
but once again
i'm at this place
a place of loneliness
a place i thought i left long ago
guess not
i was still there the whole time
where has that guardian angel gone
became
a human or devil
assumptions expectations
time has played a trick
melie
5:29 pm
how do we know when to stop? i'm not sure of the answer myself.. i just stumbled upon the feeling.. my heart wants to close that chapter so that it will stop hurting.. everytime i feel sad.. there seem to be some in controllable tension in my heart.. like there's something squeezing my heart.. how do i convince myself to let it go.. i feel bad.. more for the fact others still haf to continue doing.. i feel bad for not doing anything worth mentioning.. i feel bad for seeing others suffer.. i feel bad for leaving them behind.. am i being fair to myself.. when we smile, the ones around us smile too.. i want to do that again.. find that laughter that comes naturally.. find that smile i left behind..
it's getting better.. sometimes.. when i forget that i'm involved in something.. when i'm with a different person.. different group of people.. i forget.. it's feeling better now.. after talking to someone online last night.. always listening.. never really expect that person to.. cause we are jux friends.. but then friends meant more than that.. i'm happy to have known him.. glad.. surprisingly he understands some stuff i think even those close to me seldom notice.. maybe it's the experience he has.. that's what friends are for.. isnt it..
jux remembered hafta go cut my grandpa's hair.. cant really find the time yet.. gosh.. find it really therapeutic to cut my grandpa's hair.. like it's the only thing i can do specially for him.. never did spend time with him when i was young.. just that he bought food for us.. share his stories occasionally.. but then that was all.. now.. he would share stories more often.. though sometimes not coherant to what we are talking about.. but then still like it.. time seems so precious now.. what if.. it almost did happen a few months back.. shock to the family.. just makes me sad thinking he's not that healthy anymore.. will he last to see me get married.. play with my children.. ha.. so long more.. will he.. i hope so.. i really do..
i feel happy to concentrate on studies.. n meet up with my friends.. i just enjoy doing that.. having meals with my family, grandpa, n everyone else in the extended family.. i really do.. at least i wont get judged.. not all the time.. i want to believe not all the time.. i want to..
melie
9:56 pm
