first time i'm up so late typing an entry.. my mom would disallow me to do so.. but she's watching korean drama now.. just got back jux b4 12.. minli n huifang n i had a talk that we never had.. in years i suppose.. the 3 of us.. heart to heart i suppose.. tears flowed.. truth n feelings poured.. i felt happy.. glad that they are here.. and will always be here for me.. this passed week had been difficult.. but i realise and felt alot of things..
god closed a window.. but open many others.. he even showed me the ones that were hidden but were actually opened all along.. he showed me the love that was available to me.. showed me that the world was a big net.. catching me when i fall.. giving me strength..
huifang: she was the one that came to my rescue when i called for help.. she rushed down to my hse, forgoing slp and time to study.. we talked.. hours.. her presence changed my mood abit.. she was by my side thruout this whole thing.. cause going home seem to be a common route or going for meetings.. she shared her thoughts.. msn, sms, calling.. wadever communication we tried.. ha.. without her.. i guess it was tough going thru it..
minli: she called me when she knew about it.. we talked like old times.. hearing her voice and her talking calmed me down.. it was just relaxing hearing her talk.. at least i dun wander off.. thinking of stuff i shouldnt be.. todae.. she told me to cry.. she listened to me talk.. she got me to say everything.. it was just relieving to release those emotions..
baoxian: though we dont meet up often.. i noe she's always there.. she's a special fren.. jus always there for me.. someone i can sms or call anitime.. offering the advice that she can.. just to noe that she's there for me.. i'm happy..
wenbin: he listens.. always.. hears my complains.. hears my sorrow.. he even offered to meet me when he heard abt it.. though he'll nv say what to do.. but he'll let me talk cock.. mayb even to just sit there quietly and stone..
chingsoon: another fren willing to listen or even talk to me just so i wont feel sad.. a fren that will stay wif me thru this moment..
zhilong: not sure how to describe him.. but a comforter.. someone who was willing to listen.. someone who accompanied thru that day.. someone who offered to send me to the doc's and home when i started vomitting for no reason.. someone who checked on me if i reached my destination without fainting.. he'll sms me time to time and check if i had my meals and tell me i'm dangerously losing weight.. asking me to eat more when i am trying to..
steve: my kor who is always supporting his mei!! yeah.. wonderful kor.. cause he's old.. he offers the best advice.. well not that best.. but the best he could gif.. crapping wif me when i'm bored.. telling me to ask him for permission b4 crying to slp.. ha.. if he nv reply me that means i cant cry.. but already done it twice.. hee.. though he very busy.. he still rmbs his mei.. i think da sao is so lucky to haf u!!
rina: she took the courage to ask me after asking bixia.. ha.. comforted me.. advicing me.. helping me to sort my thoughts.. b4 hands exam, we even crap for an hour.. though we were supposed to study.. she listened.. really glad i talked it out b4 going for the exam..
bixia: for her simple " jia youx!" at the start of my day.. felt shocked but touched at her gesture.. another fren added to my list of support group..
steph: for her advice during clinicals.. for msging at nite to cheer me up to study.. for listening to me vent my sorrows.. for listening to me sing along to those love songs the radio play.. for making fun at each other cox of that dear old uncle that we call our "husband"
junyi: for thinking of sending me home when i didnt feel well.. though in the end i didnt get sent home, he asked how i was after that.. talked crap wif me.. shared wif me of what he knew.. comforting me on what he knew..
john: for saying what he did b4 my hands exam.. msging hf to ask if i'm ok..
yinghui: for wishing me happie v dae.. but realising his mistake and comfort me instead..
chung ming: who wants to noe but doesnt haf the time or nv finds the rite situation.. try harder..
diane jie jie: for being there to hear me talk.. for saying that i can always talk to her.. for making me feel the family ties so strongly..
brother: for hugging me when i looked down.. for hugging me for no rum or reason.. for sending me a song that described my feelings.. for borrowing the vcd that i wanted.. for saying that he wanted to haf dinner wif me.. for wanting to share a drink wif me.. for coming to my room to just take a look at me.. for looking at my eyes and asked if i cried everynite.. for asking if i still wake up at 4 every nite..
parents:.. my mom for huggin me and telling me she loves me.. my dad for saying take it easy and let things take the natural course.. for if he's yours.. he will come back to u.. my dad for messing up my hair when patting me on my head.. for them to want to send me home or to anywhere i wan.. getting me to do things so it's all blocked up..
edwin: for letting me see the world more clearly.. for me to treasure what i wan more.. for closing that window on me..
i lost some.. but gain more than i could imagine.. they all cared for me.. friends.. family.. what more could i ask for.. thanks everyone.. if u're not mention, it's not that u r not impt.. cause my eyes haf dropped and my mind finally wans to shut down.. i hate darkness.. i hate the nights.. but thinking that i haf so many frenz that i can turn to.. gives me the strength to go on.. i'm trying to gain those weight i lost.. regain those nights i've lost.. cry when i want to.. but most of all.. learnt that love.. is from everyone.. i am loved, hugged and wanted..
melie
12:43 am
