for the past 7 weeks, it was a ride to hell and back again.. i am surprised myself that i manage to get thru these 7 weeks.. besides the part of losing appetite, weight, sleep and wadever not.. it was tough, tormenting to go thru these weeks.. there was reports, exams, attachment to face.. had to go thru all these.. an act i manage to put up for 7 weeks.. points of breaking down happened.. aniwae i haf been acting for the past 21 years haven i, melissa? taking out the mask i shelved 1 and half years ago and put it on again.. it was different.. the mask doesnt fit again.. had to alter the mask to fit the present.. i'm the best actress anione can find ya..
i haf a strong character.. stubborn to be exact.. that's wad everyone expects to get from you.. even after such a thing happened to you, they expect you to be up on ur feet the very next moment and be that strong gal again.. just like my jie said.. ppl get tired being strong.. living up to expectations is tiring, it just sucks away all the energy u haf.. especially being emotionally drained, it more difficult to live up to expectations.. vulnerabilities haf been a taboo.. once u appear strong to others, u can no longer live a life to show others that u r weak.. when a strong person shows their vulnerability, they get hurt more when things go wrong.. who would understand this but only themselves.. the amount of pain they'll feel.. they think twice in showing their vulnerability again.. but sometimes they dun realise that there are ppl like them around too.. been thru the same thing as them.. willing to listen and open up but nothing will get them to show their weakness animore.. no matter what u say.. u'll probably end up feeling like a loser when u r their friend or loved ones.. what kind of fren are you when u cant get your fren to even talk..
melie
12:22 pm
