this is for abi.. ha.. and all those interested in reading.. well.. cause abi personally instructed me to update..k.. had wanted to but been back in sch since the start of hols doing my fyp (final year proj).. by the time i reach sch, there's not much time to type an entry.. by the time my proj ends, it's time to go home or haf dinner before my gastric sets in.. ha.. well.. when i reach home i'll be in denial of turning on my com to see anymore words.. enough for one day.. really.. since i'm on the topic of fyp, shall update on it..
as holidays have started after 2 months of attachment, it should be holiday.. well.. most ppl our age do get to enjoy their holidays.. going overseas, and do wad haf you la.. but for some of us.. esp my grp.. we got not so much time to really go overseas la.. we can la.. but to me it's more stressful in a way.. aniwae.. from 17 sept 07, i've been back in sch from mon to sunday.. from 10.30am till 6 plus 7.. well yesterdae was a record as yet cause rina n i stayed till 8.. haha.. we have been looking thru journals.. all that is related to my proj.. that's about 800 bound copies of it.. to think that we manage to go thru them in 3 days.. we (marni, rina n i) were quite proud of ourselves.. haha.. we were exhausted by the end of each day.. ahaha.. aniwae.. yesterdae while going thru the reference list of each article that we found.. 56 of them, still haven finish them after 1 day.. ha.. we haf decided to go to nus lib to look at the bound journals that they haf.. we haf wanted to just enter the lib.. but i hiam.. haha.. so we are seeking approval from our manager to endorse a letter for us.. well.. bx offered her matrix card... it's her term break but she's gotta go back almost everyday!! k.. mayb all 3rd years haf sad lives if they have proj.. well.. but i love my proj mates.. think marni, rina n i kinda bonded much more these few days while we did hand search.. my other 2 group mates are busy with the electronic search.. hope they still surviving.. haha.. we kinda hide at the corner of the lib, right at the end (basically that's where there is the most no of power points and where the journals are at).. so we just do wad we r not suppose to do in the lib (make it our home).. we play music, munch on sweets (except on marni who's fasting).. take off our footwear and walk barefoot around... ha.. sit at any comfortable position.. ha.. we normally target to finish one whole trolley of journals before breaking for lunch (half hr) then we contd again after that.. ha.. k.. sometimes we look like librarians when we arrange the journals that we haf taken back to the shelf (we haf seriously combed all shelves for missing journals.. and given the sch librarian a list (of about 20) of journals that we cant find.. they dont believe us la.. we not that bad to not look for it ourselves first k..
enough of fyp.. todae is a break from having go back to sch.. suppose to help in the electronic search.. oh well.. that'll be later..
met up with my jie on wed for dinner.. we were too ambitious.. well.. i was.. ha.. cause i agreed to the set meal.. i forgot i cant eat as much now.. but the time we finish.. almost all the food we cleared la.. we were seriously full and filled to the brim.. ha.. i felt like puking.. haha.. but i enjoy talking to her.. she hasnt changed much.. look almost the same.. hee.. so fun talking to her.. hee.. mayb my jie and i went thru similar stuff ba.. especially this yr.. i didnt noe how to comfort her cause i noe there's nothing i can say to make her feel better.. i would haf known myself better.. i could only listen to wad she has to say.. she told me how she haven since her fren after she had gotten back n how he's probably getting married next yr.. i could only tell her time will help probably.. i'm not sure how true.. but that's wad most ppl say.. i didnt sound convincing probably.. her reply was, she'll probably forget abt him if she gets attached again.. mayb ba.. i forgot to ask her why she wanna meet up with him, wad's she gonna say to him besides 'how are you'.. should haf walked home with her.. ha.. oh well.. our batch of ventures should meet up with her soon.. ha.. though there are a few who are not around.. 3 to be exact.. ha..
i'm not sure if they'll make it overseas on monday.. each day, everything is different.. u noe like el nino is happening in my own house.. sometimes it's calm and smooth sailing, sometimes it's a typhoon.. i got home on wed to find my parents on the extreme ends of the couch.. my dad had a serious face so i noe something bad must haf happened.. retreated to my bro's room who's been playing his xbox these few days.. he said my dad wanted to leave the house but my mom refused to let him do that.. it's cause of an email my mom sent.. when i saw that email.. i seriously wanted to blow up too.. pissed me off yet again.. can i tell my dad i wan to leave too.. heh.. so i just ignored them.. washed up and just stayed in my room to watch tv.. well.. had been doing that.. minimal movt out of the room.. the only other place i frequent is the bathroom or my bro's room.. other than that.. i stay put on my bed.. i hate the atmosphere at home.. sian.. well dad yesterdae say i should get the set up box in my room changed to the digital one.. fine with me cause i get to watch more channels on cable.. ha..
tues i think i was seriously a loner.. that night at 10, there was nothing on tv to watch so i hopped to my bro's room to see if i could talk to him but he was busy skyping his gf.. so i retreated back to my room.. didnt wan to go out to the living room.. so i decided to wait for my bro to finish talking.. but after 5 mins it doesnt seem to change so i decided to just cuddle up on my bed and slp at 10pm.. my mom thought i was sick so she came in to check... luckily i wasnt like tearing so much to cause a change in voice.. ha.. manage to hide some parts.. hee.. somehow i probably got tired from tearing and i fell to slp.. but i woke up at 1am suddenly.. hannah smsed me which i ignored.. ha.. i forwarded a sms for my class before returning back to my bed.. then i couldnt fall straight back to slp so decided to visit the bathroom.. i notice my bro's room door was close.. well my bro n i only close our door to slp if we got air con on.. i went to check it out if i get to turn on the air con too.. but no leh.. his air con not on.. so i open the door to find my bro playing his xbox which got me pretty pissed cause he had sch the next day and he's suppose to be slping.. he got the hint that he should be slping so he went to slp after that.. y does he always risk himself getting scolded.. very fun ar.. oh well.. jun tell him to slp early k..
by the number of times they quarrel in a week.. which is almost everyday.. i'm not sure if they'll make it to the airport next mon.. sian.. i nd a break.. from them sorry to say.. i cant leave the country cause i told a lie.. white lie.. i not sure if i haf the courage to tell them i wanna go on a trip with my course mates.. communication has gotten to the minimal.. think it's my fault cause i refused to communicate.. wadever la.. i'm cold and heartless.. ha..
oh ya.. abi.. thanks for ur invitation into that society of yours.. ha.. heard u recently started another club which has an overseas branch too.. haha..
minli.. when's the tree top walk.. hee..
bx.. hope wed works out for us to meet up.. if not i'll just meet up with u.. ha..
muhd & cs.. thanks for msning.. hee..
yw.. let's try to meet up next wk.. hee..
recently gotten a few cds and books.. shall talk abt them next time cause i'm going to be late for my hairdresser appt.. haha..
I just want to run * Just want to hide away * Close my eyes to your gaze
Just want to leave * Don't want to hear them say * "You're no good at this"
When the world swirls with naysayers * Broken wings and torn pages
The road ahead, drowning in my tears.
Scars (Stronger For Life) by Corrinne May
melie
8:34 am
