was talking to abigail yesterdae.. well.. she's my company for the night.. for the nights i stay up late to do my fyp.. nights where my mom just throw me off my sanity.. nights where it gets so tough to get by halfway..
well.. topic of the night was the representation of the different important stuff one has.. for example what does your family represents, what does your friends represent.. abi says friends are like bands.. that's why it's called friendship band.. k.. not that it's funny or wad.. then she says family is like a cloth made from thread.. but i think family is like a safety net.. net like.. family probably started just nice and woven.. where u stay in that place very comfortably.. but as we get older, the safety net gets worn out.. holes start appearing cause of various reasons.. reasons like when u get scolded from doing something wrong.. setbacks in life.. tensions in life.. all causes these holes.. when we are younger, we get to repair these holes.. sew them back before it gets too big.. it cause such things happen only once in a while.. however as we get older, we think more differently from our parents, siblings.. that's when more conflicts happen.. the holes in the net just get bigger.. for me.. it got bigger over the years as the conflict was never settled, the hurt i felt inside, just build up.. now it has gotten abit too big to even mend anything.. after all that's happen in the family the past few months.. there's too many holes in the net to hold me inside.. i believe confidence also affect how big or small we are.. these few months, i felt i have shrunk.. shrink to a size where even small holes cant hold me inside the family safety net anymore.. at times, i dangle from the net.. at times i hang from it.. sometimes, it feels 0k to dangle from the net.. when everything is peaceful or wad, i dun mind dangling, it feels 0k.. but when the situation in the house gets abit tough, the net gets slippery to hold on.. then, i dunno if i should continue holding on or let go.. but now.. if i let go, there's nothing to catch me.. the chance of falling onto my friends' band is slim.. how long can i last there.. there used to be a safety net where i fell on when the family safety net just got too difficult to stay on.. now there's none.. not sure if it's worth holding on.. cause the more i hold on, the more upset i get at times..
melie
3:05 pm
