life has yet again got me to ponder.. ponder on my plans for the future.. ponder on what i see myself as in years to come.. maybe ponder is not the word.. maybe it's change.. change of the plans for my future.. change in the ideal life i wanted..
life is like the train tracks.. when one has done the servicing, the train will run smoothly.. like life.. sometimes, things just falls into place.. and life events happens smoothly like how you plan them to be..
however, even though servicing is done, there may be a stone or rock out of place, or a screw out of the tracks.. this causes minor hiccups.. causing the train ride to be less than smooth.. a bump probably.. but it's ok.. the train still can run.. life still can go on.. a minor effect wouldnt hurt much..
but when this problem escalates, and is not noticed.. it becomes a major problem.. like a misalignment would result in the train being out of tracks.. an accident.. it causes serious damage.. one would wonder how do we deal with such a problem.. how can one deal with it?
time is suppose to help with the healing.. clearing the damage, repairing the tracks.. getting a new train.. time is suppose to do it all.. oh well.. for trains, it does really happens this way.. but in life.. does it always happen? maybe when one chooses to stay in the pile of wreckage, time doesnt change anything.. it makes life standstill.. the way one choose life to be.. the clearing, the repairing can be tough.. too much to handle at times.. there will be times when one wonder why we bother doing it.. we question ourselves on why we bother to do such a thing.. living life in a wreckage and gaining sympathy from whoever is around.. but then again.. isnt it better to pick oneself up and start afresh.. lots of tolerance.. lots of patience.. lots of believing is involved.. to just go through the whole process and recover, it may take hours, it may take years.. it's the first step that is really important..
how long will one take? who have the answer to that question? everyone is different.. i wish i had known the answer.. i wish i could see the future of my life.. i wish i knew what would happen.. wishes like these wont come true.. what will? wishing for things? i dont really want them or need them.. there are probably many things in life that we want.. why is it that the one thing we dont really want now keeps appearing.. the harder one tries to forget, the more one thinks of it.. please go away.. you are meant to be kept deep inside and never to be mentioned.. why.. go away will you.. the last thing i want is to go around in circles..
melie
4:50 pm
