Tuesday, June 10, 2008
what's better? to be loved or to love..

this has been on my mind ever since i realise that it means differently..

at first, i thought either way it doesnt make any difference.. if u r faced with either, u would still feel blessed.. maybe it is so, maybe it isnt... but then i realise.. above all.. u have to love and be loved by the same person to feel real love.. guess that's the ultimate ba... how do i put the rest of my thoughts into words.. they all dont seem to fit anywhere.. they are like mixed up parts of the puzzle that doesnt join with any other pieces.. maybe i still have to ask myself.. what is love.. the longing to be with someone? the urge to fight all odds just to be with someone? to silently stand by the side and be able to watch that person from afar? or the unspoken bond with another person that is present some where out there... and then again.. there's many type of love...

i would really want to hear abi's point of view cause she's always different from everybody else.. she helps me see things from another perspective..


melie
11:19 am


Comments:
I am no love goddess or guru. From what i gathered, it seems that you are at odds with finding what is the meaning of love, perhaps trying to link what the belief you had and/or have to the situation you are in now.This is what I often do too sometimes when i try to complete the NYP assessments. Find quotes from books and whack into the report to fit the qn.this is a perhaps a rather common practice and Mankind's innate urge to explain or shape our experiences.
 
Based on your title and input, it seems to me that you are comparing 2 variables: quality vs quantity aspects of love. Let's just narrow it down to Man-Woman or Boy-girl relationship.
If your title was "what's better? to be loved or not to be loved.", it is most likely a simpler qns, very straight forward answer.
But if your title was " what's better? to love or not to love", maybe this is harder. Perhaps becos the answer is reliant on the other party.
 
Love can be very commercial and yet personal sometimes, for instance, in your examples of love, could have been influenced by what you have heard from others, watched on TV or even your family.
I know that you like songs.I can Guarantee you that all songs are about love. There was one song i heard on radio last night while driving it goes : " The first cut is the deepest" and of cos the singer knows it herself (according to the song). So under such circumstances, i dont think a cost-benefit analysis of " to love or not to love" will help.
 
By the way, the points about "the longing to be with someone? the urge to fight all odds just to be with someone? to silently stand by the side and be able to watch that person from afar? or the unspoken bond with another person that is present some where out there... and then again.. there's many type of love..." is NOT LOVE at all girl. They are EXPRESSIONS of love.
 
Love, my friend.... I am in no position to define or suggest some answers. For expressions of love, it is much easier. There are factors that influence Expressions of love. Other than the universal factors ie.person, culture, situations and environment, there are sub-factors like:The need or want for Reciprocation, selfish v.s. altruism, pride and prejudice...
 
Like what shakespeare wrote : " It all leads back to Rome (home)". In this case, it is still back to you. Going by your argument on "u have to love and be loved by the same person to feel real love.. ". Am i right to say that you are not feeling real love since you love the person but you are not loved by the same person.This answers the qns of " What's better? To be loved or not to be loved" .
 
now the qns on " to love or not to love". You are loving the person now. You have made that move and it is really hard to stop, in fact it is uncontrollable.Let's do something achievable, how are you going to express love... looks like you have decided to watch the person silently and expressiing it thru various outlets( if i am not wrong, this i am not sure). Nothing wrong with all answers ( assuming that I interpret it 70% accurately).
 
hmm... thank goodness that examinations have time limits, that's why it is easier to tackle them. We answer the qns and correct them within the time frame ( but damn those time limits, I didnt get to complete papers in my life). Ironically, time limits help becos we wont get to write and change answers so many times. For the case of love life, it just never ends. It's a song that never ends, it goes on and on my friend....
 
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